Please Sir, may I have some more?

Well, those of you who read my last blog noted at the bottom that I was so so very excited to go to the cabin with Teagan this past weekend. Funny how things just never seem to work out.

I came home early Friday so that we could leave early to the cabin. I got into town and went straight to Teagan's mom's new shop inside the new ballet studio that Teagan dances at. She and I went to my house to raid the pantry for food for the weekend, and then we headed up to her house. She threw her stuff together and Katelyn and Lindsay met up with us. Katelyn had to work Saturday so she was going to follow us in her car. Teagan and I took her Audi that she had just gotten out of the shop after months of putting in a new engine, and Katelyn and Lindsay followed behind us in Kate's Jetta. We set off, picked up some good old Mickey D's on the way out of town, and were on our way. I was SO happy, riding in the car I loved, with my best friend, looking forward to a whole weekend with her. We passed through Ashton and started up Ashton Hill. The roads were wet, and we couldn't tell very well if it was slick or just wet, so we were going about 45 or less. As we got higher up the hill, it got more slick. We were coming around a bend in the road, and the semi in front of us started to fish tail. Not wanting to crash into him, Teagan started tapping the brakes, and we started to fish tail too. A little to the left.... a little more to the right.... really far to the left, and then we were gone. We slid out of control across the highway and flew off a steep bank, catching air in the newly rebuilt Audi. I looked over at Teagan as the car and the ground were reintroduced, just in time to see her fly up rag doll style and smack her head on the windshield. I can't tell you how horrible it was. I thought she was dead. She wasn't wearing her seatbelt...I was. We kept sliding and I stared at the trees as they came closer and closer until our 2 right tires caught and we rocked up on 2 wheels on my side, and came crashing back down. We sat there for two seconds in silence before we caught our breath. Teagan leaned forward holding her head and groaned. I checked to see if she was ok.. She leaned her head back on the headrest and pointed to the windshield. There was a star bigger than a dinner plate where her head had hit. Talk about a sickening feeling. Just then some guys ran up and opened the back door. I told them she had hit her head. They sat her chair back and checked for blood... all the while I sat there feeling like a failure of a lifeguard for all that stupid first aid training I had gone through, I had no idea what to do. They told us there was an emergency vehicle on its way, and then went back to their truck to wait for it. Teagan told me to call her dad so I did and calmly explained what had happened and he said he was on his way in their 4 runner. Teagan was crying next to me and I was terrified she was hurt badly. Just then Kate and Lindsay ripped open my door panting and asked loudly if we were ok They had had a hard time slowing down, and had sprinted about a half mile. I was fine, and I told them that Teagan had hit her head. They ran to her side and by that point we were all crying. They shoved the spilled food over and crammed into the backseat. We sat there for a while and Kate and Lindsay decided to go back to their car because it was running and the heat was on. Our car was really cold, but we didn't want to move Teagan. She was doing ok, but her head hurt really bad, and I still hadn't convinced myself that she was ok. I had to keep hugging her to believe she was alive. We sat there waiting for the ambulance. I wrapped her in extra sweatshirts and her Little Mermaid blanket, wishing I had brought my matching Batman blanket. We talked about how lucky we were, how close we were to the trees. There was a pole that we had somehow jumped AROUND, no joke. I was surprisingly calm, just worried out of my mind. I felt like it was my fault, all of it, because if it hadn't been for me and my stupid cabin, we wouldn't have been there in the first place. The ambulance finally arrived and the 4 of us went in with Teagan. They checked her out and we warmed up after sitting in the freezing Audi for 45 minutes. Teagan's parents had kept in contact with me, calling and texting to get updates and let us know where they were. Finally they arrived and my reaction was not what I expected. Here were these two people I loved, respected, and admired. They were friends to me. They trusted me with their daughter, trusted me to take care of her, keep her safe... and I felt like I had failed them. So I kinda started to lose it... and then it was time to go. I went with Katelyn and Lindsay, and Teagan went with her parents. There goes my fun weekend. Go team.
We're lucky we're alive and walked away from the crash pretty much untouched. Doesn't mean I'm not messed up about it, but I'm just glad she's alive. If something worse had happened to her, I would never have forgiven myself.